1-changeintroThe definition of change is to “make or become different.” I like that – simple, clear, clean. We know what change is when we see it – it’s different than it was. Change is inevitable, constant, and unrelenting. We think we are static, that the world, processes, and life is static day to day. A building there today will be there tomorrow. We barely notice the change that goes on around us. This is why when big change comes, we balk. We fail to recognise that we are changing all the time. Our world round us is changing all the time; plants are growing and dying, people are growing and dying. Human-made artifacts change when we will them to change – streets, buildings, water ways, processes, web sites, banking practices, laws, consumer products. Change occurs because of need. There is the creative need of humans and the biological needs of living beings.  The universe itself is in a constant state of change – building up, decay, breaking down. Time moves because we perceive change; change occurs in response to time. Time, space, and change. It’s all connected in our minds.

This begs the question, why are we humans so resistant to change? We throw tantrums, ignore emails, fight for the “old way” of doing things in response to the changes that occur on or near us. I think that it’s self-change, or change that imposes itself upon our own lives/egos that is the challenge. Self-change seems to be so difficult that we have whole books, classes, and therapy sessions dedicated to it. We feel the need to change, to grow, to be better than we were – we just lack “something” to get us there.

Change is, I think, why we want to become Freemasons. I think that somewhere, deep
inside or maybe not so deep, we want to be better than we are – different in the ways that are truly, authentically “us.” Maybe we joined to “change the world.” Or, maybe we joined for camaraderie; but, that is change, toomarketing-and-climate-change-thumb. Who we place in our environment, where we place ourselves – all of that affects us and is, in and of itself, change. We cannot expect to become Freemasons and not change, nor not be able to learn how to embrace change. Indeed, even as we pass many degrees and think “I’ve been a Freemason for a long time now… there’s nothing new,” we find ourselves to be wrong. Our Orders, our Lodges, who passes to the Grand Lodge above and who remains – everything constantly changes. We have to learn to adapt and thrive else we die. Drastic? Sure. True, nonetheless.

In the past year, I’ve seen plenty of Masonic change. I’ve seen opportunities for growth presented, and I’ve seen them seized and brought to life, left to wither and atrophy, disregarded, overwhelmed, or frightened off. I take this time of year to reflect on what I’ve seen and what my own challenges have been. I think that the Temple of Apollo inscription of “Know Thyself” is the first step in overcoming the challenges of change. Interestingly enough, Apollo was god of the Sun and Light. To find the Light, and enter into its presence, metaphorically in the Temple, we need to know thyself. What I found in all the situations where change presented has been change retarded, all of the people involved may not have known themselves, including me. If we had, we might have spoke up and regulated the change, or made compromises, or adjusted our lives to fit the change. I’ve seen people who realize that change is coming, or arrived, and when they know they cannot meet it, stay silent. I, too, have stayed silent. We believe our silence will keep the rest of the world from knowing we cannot meet the change as we supposed. The real lesson is not that the individual failed to change and grow; the real lesson is that they didn’t know themselves enough to speak up, speak out, ask for help, or negotiate the change better. It seems to me, in Freemasonry, no one will judge harshly the ones who speak up and know their own limitations, who are honest with themselves and others; at least, it is so in my Order. It is far better to speak up and ask for assistance than to bury our heads in the sand and ignore what is happening. Burying our metaphorical heads not only hurts us but it hurts our fellow Freemasons, our families, our promises and obligations, and maybe even our Orders. Silence, incorrectly embraced, kills.

Freemasonry has, this past year, presented me with challenges to change and become better. I have not met those changes well and challenges still abound. I’m learning when it’s okay to become angry and vocal, and when I should just observe things unfolding and wait. I’m learning to let go of the need to be “right” and to let the mistakes and errors take place, and then see how the changes occur. If they do not, then I assist. I’m learning what is ego, and what is not, and what the truth of a situation might be – then take the next step to participate in the change. The U.S. election process this year taught me to speak out more. My Masonic participation has taught me to speak out more. eraseMy brothers and family have taught me to speak out more. I always thought that I was able to speak up; what I found is that on paper, I can. Verbally, I struggle with communicating clearly and understandably to larger groups of people. As we move into the new year, I see more challenges for this activity coming as my duties continue to change. I need to improve here, or else things will become more difficult for me and everyone else. Hopefully, knowing why I struggle and where I struggle, I will be able to set myself up for success and achieve some measure of it. It is the journey, and not the destination. That is, perhaps, what I’ve learned from the 32nd Degree most of all – it IS a lifelong journey, fraught with all kinds of challenges and change. I need to remember to dedicate myself to that fight – to have my heart set for whatever comes and to prepare my mind and body for it as well. It is the balance between spirit and matter, eternal and corporeal, and the fact that the journey is completed with the help of my fellow Freemasons.

Change is necessary. I’ve heard people say “we shouldn’t change for change’s sake.” I think random chaotic change is not helpful, true. I agree with that. Yet, if change is happening all around us, it cannot help but affect us. Those effects will be felt, whether we want to feel them or not. Change not embraced does not mean change is absent. Oh no. Change continues without you; it simply happens TO you and ON you rather than WITH you. Why would we want to give up that control, to flow with and embrace the change in our own way, rather than fight it? Or worse yet, why would we fight it only to know we will be worse off in the end? We cannot stop change…but we can affect it.

Change is coming. It’s a new year, with new Lodge formations, new officers, new challenges, new members, new ritual changes, new laws, new process, and new procedure. If we Freemasons do not learn to deal with change, we cannot be of service to ourselves nor to the world around us. Many, many things will change and we Freemasons need to be ready for the change – whether they are Masonic, political, legal, physical, or emotional. We need to continue the process of understanding and knowing ourselves. We should recognize that the most interesting of human studies is contained with us – the knowledge of ourselves. If we do not know ourselves, we know nothing at all. This is the perfect time of year for turning inward and and examining, critically but without malice, those things inside of us that should remain to die on the vine, what we want to keep to encourage for the New Year. It’s this time of year I finalize what I want to achieve in the coming year; mbfspI’ve done this for 30 years and I’ll continue to do it. I seem to change my format every year, even though I do the act every year. Change within a constant. A constant that continually changes. “We can never step into the same river twice.
That river isn’t the same, moment to moment. Water is experience and memory, the flow is time. It is filled with life of all sorts – that which goes with it and that which sits firmly in its embrace, unmoving. Grasses, fish, or rock. I think it’s good to remember that the river also changes the rock sunk into its bed. The river smooths, polishes, and yes, changes the stone. The stone wears down and adds itself to the river. Over time, change happens, whether we will it to or not. We can be the stone, or we can be the river grasses, or we can be the water. We know what fits us best. What we need to keep in mind is that we are all, cognizant or not, changing to flow with that river.

Blessed Solstice, everyone! And a very Happy New Year!

The Mind of a Mason

I remember back to my very first visit as an officer to a Grand Lodge workshop. I was a freshly minted M.M, fresh off the proverbial “training” boat. My mother Lodge was small at the time, and I learned to do more than a few officer positions at the same time – trying to fill multiple offices to the best of my ability. In a small Lodge, you have no choice. You learn quickly and you learn variety. Most of all, you learn flexibility.

Now I was finally going to the “source” of ritual learning, where the meetings were not only full but full of officers. I was so nervous. I had heard stories of the people who had gone to workshops before me – be ready, learn your lines, make sure you are used to living in dorms, etc. I worked hard to prepare and be there the entire time, ready to suck up all the learning I could. My first office was something that I thought was “easy.” I showed up at rehearsal, lines memorized, ready to go.  Continue reading

The Importance of Social Capital

empty-mindA phrase came into my head, recently, about some of the things I would like to do with my life. Let me back up a bit… about this time of year, I always sit down and write my goals for the coming year. I call them goals, but let’s call it… a theme, a direction, some things I’d like to see, do, and maybe achieve. They aren’t goals, per se – more like guidelines. This year, I am trying a different tack, one from a company called The Dragontree Apothecary. It’s a book to walk through your year, interactive – kinda of hipster, but it’s something different. I’ve been doing this exercise for thirty years; sometimes a girl has to find something new.

Continue reading

Ego and the Freemason

ego-kissI have to say, I love my Lodge’s Study Groups. They bring up all kinds of interesting subjects in relation to all aspects of life, and more particularly, life as a Freemason. We recently discussed how Ego affects our lives, and what our particular work is as Freemasons in regards to the Ego. These study sessions give me an opportunity to explore not only my own experiences with the topic but also what I think about it objectively – form an opinion, as well as be able to articulate that opinion. Since we all have an ego, it’s easy to have experiences with it. It’s harder to form objective opinions. After all, isn’t the ego involved in forming those opinions?

One of my first college classes as a fresh-faced 18 year old, was Psychology 101. This was predated by Western Philosophy, both having an extremely big pull for me. These were classes that my high school did not offer, a whole new world of living that was and still is exciting. We learned all about Freud and Jung’s theories of the Ego, amongst other things, but nothing really “stuck” with me after that class. I never really went back and explored ego until it came up so often in religious and metaphysical studies years later. I identified most closely with Jung’s writings and I often go back to read up on him when questions of psyche were, and are, involved.

In his writing about ego, “One of Jung’s central concepts is individuation, his term for a process of personal development that involves establishing a connection between the ego and the self. The ego is the center of consciousness; the self is the center of the total psyche, including both the conscious and the unconscious.” The reference goes on to say, “For Jung, there is constant interplay between the two. They are not separate but are two aspects of a single system. Individuation is the process of developing wholeness by integrating all the various parts of the psyche.”

ego-face-masksThe most interesting part of that statement is the fact that the ego and the self are different entities that must be integrated. How did they get dis-integrated in the first place? How did something that was whole become separate, linked, and our goal is to try to integrate the two? Is it birth that separated them? If so, what are we before? And is that the state we are trying to achieve? It makes my head spin to think that we might have been integrated in the womb (or before?) and dis-integrated at birth, and we spend our whole lives working toward integration. What happens, then, if you integrate earlier than dying? Is that perhaps our goal? Do we evolve as a species if that happens?

Hurts your head, right? Well, it does mine.

I imagine a binary star system, two bright points of light circling each other, embracing each other as only two fiery systems of gas and elementals can – never touching and continually burning each other. Love that consumes and renews itself. Yes, that must be the ego and the self, in Jung’s world.

If the ego and the self are inseparable, then it seems to me we have to learn to live with both, separate and equal parts, calling and screaming at one another all the time. How do we reconcile? Do we even try? Since we cannot unequivocally say where the mind resides, perhaps these two things are part of the overarching mind that controls us. And, logic gives us, that if as above, so below is representative, does that Divine mind have a self and ego, too? Does the Divine even have a mind? Maybe that’s a weird question, but maybe not.

I do know that Freemasonry simultaneously chooses to subdue our egos and find our “self.” Perhaps one of the binary stars must be dominant, and in that dominance is where we find the traits of a person – arrogance or humility, graciousness or rudeness. In the balance between the stars, we find the nature of the gasses they put off. It is difficult to be of service to your fellow Masons and at the same time be immodest and arrogant. There’s little room for others when you fill the room with your ego. Perhaps that is also why we learn to subdue passions – the passions of the ego – and develop the passions of the self – the connection to the divine. One star must dim to have the other shine. The Roche Lobe of Personality. I kinda like it.

whitedwarfIn the past, I wondered why we, as Freemasons, pin medals on our chests
and put numbers at the end of our names, or added titles when we attain certain Masonic
degrees. I think this is another of those tests – do we do it for prestige? Do we wear our outward jewels as a “brag rag,” as I heard one brother call it long ago? Or do we wear them to honor the Work we’ve completed and bring to the gathering? Do we shine our ego brightly to make our “self” fade? Intent is everything and nothing; we must be clear about what the outward trappings mean in order to not fall into the trap itself, yes?  Is one degree better than another? What have we really attained? I think about these things often. I do my best to remember the duty and cautiously regard the glitter. It seems to stick to everything.

Does Masonry feed the ego? Or help one subdue it? Maybe it’s an ongoing dialogue rather than a simple, solitary question.

Whence come you?

eleusinianI detest it when English-speakers misuse the word “whence.” In very basic terms, it means “where from” or “from where.”  Yet, English speakers and writers, even the highly educated, continually use the word “from” with “whence.” You will hear “from whence did it come?” Argh. We are being redundant. “From where from” is improper English grammar, people. Stop it.

Why the grammatical rant? Because I think that we Freemasons are faced with many archaic English words and we have no idea why they are in our rituals. How many times have we heard someone say “in-da-fa-tee-gable.” No. It is “in-de-fatiglble.” We modern Masons struggle with these words falling out of our mouth, trying to make them give the ritual heart and meaning. Why these archaic words and what purpose do they serve? Can’t we just “fix” it?

Ah, that is the Freemason’s contradiction: to follow Landmarks and never make innovations to the ritual, and yet understand that the ritual has been altered and changed dozens if not hundreds or thousands of times over the course of time. Think on it: every Grand Lodge, Supreme Council, or other Supreme Freemasonic order has their own Blue Lodge or Craft ritual. Between antients and moderns, between schisms and amalgamations, the Freemason’s ritual has changed dozens if not hundreds or thousands of times. Yes, I said it – changed. It has changed words, symbols, colors, officers, and clothing. Even Landmarks, which are those items that help us identify what Freemasonry is have changed. Here’s one set. (Side note, interestingly this one does NOT prohibit Freemasonry with women…) You should read your own, if you’re a Freemason.

Did these landmarks spring out of thin air, in 1717? Well, no, actually, they did not. After a loose confederation of Lodges got together in 1717 and called it “Speculative Freemasonry,” there was a need for codification of that which distinguishes Freemasons from other groups, and creates some sort of recognizable body and organization. Membership of Lodges within this confederation was optional but in order to be recognized as a Freemasonic Lodge and body, rules and regulations were necessary. Reverend James Anderson was one of the first, and certainly is the most recognized, person to have created a constitution applicable to Freemasonry. If you’re not familiar with it, I encourage you to read it.  I am not going to get into a long and lengthy discussion of the origins of Freemasonry. Truth is, no one really knows. We speculate. It’s what we do. However, we can trace some of these documents to our own rituals, by way of the words used, the ritual form and substance, and the legends that come out of it.

Knowing the origins of the documents that have led to a basis of modern Freemasonry, we can understand the words that pop up in our ritual, why they are archaic and odd-sounding on our modern tongue. So, why don’t we just change them? Why won’t our Freemasonic leaders just “get with the times,” and revise what needs to be revised? I think the answer lies in what ritual is, what specifically the Freemasonic ritual is trying to convey.

Ritual is important to the human being, as many scientific studies have concluded. It helps the human focus on whatever is at hand, alleviate many of the concerns that creep into everyday lift, and perhaps provide us a way to continue on a healthy journey through life. Freemasonry’s use of ritual is perhaps an embodiment of ritual for how to “be” in the world. Freemasonry, as one fellow member has often told me, doesn’t tell you how to think; it teaches you how to be. There is a richness within the ritual of Freemasonry that provides us individuals guides in our life situations. We can see or not, as we are able. An interesting essay entitled Ritual – Its Importance and Meaning by Wor. Bro. Victor Popov, says “Our Freemasonic ritual conveys important truths and is a rich and a valuable portion of every Mason’s journey toward light.” I think the words that our forefathers brought to the table is one way those truths are conveyed.

It’s interesting to note that of those organizations who have revised their ritual significantly from the earlier Masonic periods (> 200 years ago), there has been a distinct drop in membership numbers. In fact, many Lodges and Masonic orders are striving to repair their rituals to an earlier age, become more in line with what their forefathers were doing in Masonic Lodges. Some of that is embracing the “weird” words we find in Freemasonry? Why?

circeWords do have power. They have the power to make us think, to reflect, to trigger an emotion, and to dream. They spark the imagination. If nothing else, they force us to go the dictionary and learn what they means. Humans communicate on many levels: to me, the way our ancestors and teachers of the past communicate to us is via words. How can we learn their lessons without learning the words that they used to communicate? “Whence” becomes incredibly important, not because of its current meaning but because of how our Masonic ancestors used it. “Whence come you?” has a very different rhythm and flow than “Where do you come from?” – not to mention, the former is proper English. By understanding these archaic words, we learn more history, grammar, language, and symbolism, and perhaps these will guide us in our journey of self discovery. You will probably not walk up to your co-worker and say “hey, whence come you?” I think that is the point – Freemasonry lifts us out of the mundane and helps us to think differently. Do we really want to bring that mundane world into Freemasonry? If the answer is yes, I would ask towards what ends?

Brother Popov, from his essay noted above, I think brings the idea of the importance of ritual to bear in this statement: “I tend to think that when most of us enter the Craft we respectfully submit to the demands of membership and its unusual ritual without immediately reflecting upon its meaning. Few ever make the effort to realize the historical and philosophical dimensions of Masonic ritual or what it may impart to an individual. I submit that this is most dangerous, especially when desire to change ritual, caused by our fast paced culture to make it easier to memorize or deliver more ‘effectively’ may harm the essence of what the ritual is- Freemasonry’s heart, mind and spirit.”



magicbookRecently, I was with a group of Freemasons having a passionate discussion about the word “magic.” Some of the members of the discussion group felt that Freemasonry is “magic,” while others disregarded the word as superstition and illusion. Still others were exploring different meanings, trying to find within themselves how the word made them feel, what it made them think, and what was their own relationship to magic. As Freemasons, we regularly discuss religion, or rather, being religious. We never specifically compare religions to one another but rather explore their diversity and messages. Often corrupted by men, we lose site of what being religious truly is. We almost never talk about magic.

I think that we may lose site of what being magical is as well. Our current world is corrupted by the thoughts of the fearful in so many ways, it’s often hard to tell that we’ve been conditioned by it, by ourselves, by our family, media, and friends. For example, when we use the word magic, it tend to conjure up thoughts of either something horrific, like ritual sacrifice or Voldemort (Yes, I said his name). It might bring to mind witches, burned at the stake, or witches doing strange things in forests at night. Yet, the word magical tends to bring us to Disney artifacts (Tinkerbell, anyone?), gigantic film special effects, or even dreamy, personal experiences – think, Christmas at Rockefeller Center. The point is, I don’t think we’ve explored the word magic as much as we’ve explored the word religion; however, I think that both are important to the Freemason. Well, they are both important to me and I suspect other Freemasons as well. Our ingrained fears stop us from talking about the word. I think it’s time to do a little word spelunking.

The word magic is presumably derived from Old Persian and possibly from the proto-Indo-European language as meh-gh, which means “to help, power, to be able to.” It’s taken many forms over the years, from everything to indicate the workings of scholars, sages, Zoroastrian priests, rituals, spells, and eventually related to something or someone not of your religion. If you didn’t understand it as part of your personal religious upbringing, it was considered magic, especially by both Judaism and Christianity (13/14c C.E) . In Frazer’s The Golden Bough, he does a very thorough journey from folklore, myth, magic, and religion, to the science of today. From what I have so far deduced and experienced, I think that I can say that magic is, to me, the knowledge and wonder of discovering how the natural world works. It’s learning, understanding, exploring, and working in conjunction with the natural world. Forget the word’s baggage and take it back to its origins, and to me this is what I have thus far discovered.

We’ve all learned that humans put their own connotation on the words we use, and shared and agreed-upon usage are how they become “fact.”I discard this. I want to understand the word for myself so I can use it authentically and with power.

magictreeI think that I understand magic, in so far as I understand my own relation to the natural world. I understand magic to be the physical laws of nature and the universe that I do not currently comprehend thoroughly, and and magic is the process of continually learning how to “be” and be in harmony with our universe. I don’t think this is so far from what we perceive herbalists do when they understand plant lore and heal the sick, or weirdly enough, the gymnast who understands the laws of gravity and motion in his body, and can execute the most incredible flips and jumps. Have you ever had someone throw a ball in your direction and you reached up your hand to grab it at the perfect time, even if you might not have been looking at it coming toward you? How did you do that? Magic?

I think that magic is part of the process of discovery. We first see something that entices us, intrigues us, gives us a certain spark of interest and imagination. What did we just see? What happened there? Then, we may try to recreate it, seek its origin, find out how to do what it is we saw. “To be able to” means we’re learning magic. From the learning how to do, we wonder and our interest continues. We start dissecting, breaking apart the machine of nature to figure out its meaning, its purpose, and its origin. We might take a path through religion to get there, or we may jump right to science – either is an option. Once we find the how, we seek the why.

There is a quote from a book by Arthur E. Powell, The Magic of Freemasonry, which takes me toward the part Freemasonry plays. It is this: “Why do men love Masonry? What lure leads them to it? What spell holds them through the long years? What strand is it that tugs at our hearts, taut when so many threads are broken by the rough ways of the world? And what is it in the wild that calls to the little wild things? What sacred secret things do the mountains whisper to the hillman, so silently yet so surely that they can be heard above the din and clatter of the world? What mystery does the sea tell the sailor; the desert to the Arab; the arctic ice to the explorer; the stars to the astronomer? When we have answered these questions mayhap we may divine the magic of Masonry. Who knows what it is, or how or why, unless it be the long cable tow of God, running from heart to heart.”

So, is Freemasonry magical? I believe it’s the discovery of the world around us that is magical. It persuades us to keep seeking and searching for the mysteries of nature and science. It speaks to us of understanding our world – not just the laws of men but also the laws of nature and whatever source it is that keeps us all “together.” Some may call it God, The Force, Allah, Jehovah, Yahweh, Diana, Odin, the Tao, Krishna, and a host of other names. Perhaps they are just human mirrors of the same “thing” that ties us together. Perhaps that is the thing I am truly seeking: smashing the mirrors to understand what lies on the other side. I would say that Freemasonry encourages magic and magical behavior, magical thought, and a magical mind. Ritual of any sort has a purpose and the structure, words, ritual, and trappings of Freemasonry are not as simple as to call them purely “magic.” Freemasonry requires a curious mind to work on its initiates. If one is not curious about Freemasonry and about the world in general, they will see Freemasonry as an institution, made for charity work, a fraternity in which to socialize, and a series of rituals that just encourage the participant to gain degrees. Maybe, for those masons, that is a first step, and maybe if there are more lives than this, we keep Freemasonry going for theirs, and our, future selves.  I see it as the Freemason’s duty to continue to keep our minds open and test our theories, test the world, be inquisitive; thus, perhaps Freemasons are magical scientists.

I do not think that magic is the antithesis of science. I think it is a step in the process of discovery, of which science is another. Science, which is “such knowledge, general truths, or such a system of knowledge concerned with the physical world and its phenomena” is another charged word, especially in the information and technology age. Is Freemasonry scientific? Take your own voyage and let me know what you think. This is your journey, too.


The Past

david_-_the_death_of_socratesFrom my recent blog post, a fellow Mason asked me to explain myself better when I was talking about remembering who we are, not who we were. I acknowledged that I could have done a better job at that; let me talk about that now.

One of the conundrums of Freemasonry, for me, has been the fact that as I mature in degrees and Masonic knowledge, I have to also be an example for, and sometimes employ and instruct the newer members. When this happens, I feel the weight of the years, knowledge, experiences, and forgotten lessons tumble over me. I hear myself talk to a new member about the importance of being curious about Freemasonry, and equally sighing when I hear about how they really are here to work toward “reaching enlightenment” or “having a spiritual experience.” While I think these things might be possible on the Freemasonic path, I don’t find them to be the goals of Freemasonry. They are simply the goals of the aspirant. Sometimes, I get frustrated with Freemasons who have been members a shorter time, trying to teach people about everything but Freemasonry, or sliding a bit in their duties as Freemasons, or who expect that other members will clean up the dishes, sweep the floors, or wash their sheets. I find myself shooting darting glaces as members whisper in Lodge or give direction to another officer, without permission or authorization. Work, discipline, silence, observation, learning, Service – they all pop into my mind as admonishments to others. Why? Because I have spent years admonishing myself in those same areas.

Thus, I have to remember who I am. I have been a Co-Mason for over twenty years and I have gone through all of those things which now frustrate me. Like a reformed smoker, I am distasteful of the bad habits, forgetting that I too used to do them. As I walk backward down my road, I remember how people handled my foibles. I remember how I handled them. I threw myself into learning about myself, why I did certain things, and how they made me react. I learned what Masonry was trying to teach me as a framework and how to hang my “me” on that erector set. I cried, got angry, had breakthroughs, hit walls – all in the day to day workings with my fellow Masons. I took those lessons into the “mundane” world and worked them. I am still working them – feverishly, hungrily, and passionately. I am the summation of every degree and every lesson I can absorb from those degrees. Every time I sit in Lodge, I still see something new, something I never saw before – in me, in others, in life.

When that weight comes on me, in instructing or employing a member of my Lodge, it’s because I have to remember that I am the whole of the degrees and lessons and experience that I’ve gained as a Freemason. I am not the last degree I took. I am not any special or favorite degree. I am all of them, including and especially the first one. That is the foundation whence I came and it will cradle me when I return. It truly is an Alpha and an Omega, the Ouroboros. I have to remember that this new member in front of me, who is bright with anticipation and hungry for learning, is not the “me” I am now but the “me” from twenty years ago, still fresh from a world that expects very different things than Freemasonry. It is difficult for them to shift from one set of expectations to another, especially when the Freemasonic world is so tenuous to them. I have to find the balance between trying to guide them into being a new Freemason while ensuring that their future needs are met and informed: not unlike being a parent. We try to give our children what we “never had” but in doing so, we may intend them to grow up faster than we would like. There is a blessing in the new discoveries of a freshly-minted Freemason, and as an “older” Mason, I can tap into that joy while still trying to make sure they are well-prepared for their journey. The crux of this is being neither too much in the past, which may pave the way for complacency and ill-informed “compassion,” and too much in the “me of now,” which expects that the new Freemason feels about Freemasonry and its value as I do.

I am not always carrying that “employ and instruct” weight but other weights take its place. Some of my duties provide me the opportunities to help others and some provide me the space to be an example. I find that no matter my station or responsibility, there is some weight of experience, knowledge, and discipline that the responsible Freemason owns, of any degree. There is also the balance in remembering what I was, what I have learned, honoring where other people are, and being respectful as well as challenging.

As I write this, I know this is my own journey to tread, and these lessons are all part of the process for me. They may not be the same for others, who view Freemasonry differently or have different lessons to learn.  Some people might find that this poses no problem for them, or gives them any pause. I hope that I might learn from them even as they might learn from me. A shared experience is stronger for the shared knowledge, I believe. The summation of our shared knowledge is what helps us all grow and become the better people we wish to be, not matter our goal. That shared knowledge also becomes the goals of Freemasonry – to be guides and helpers of the ignorant, to shine Truth, Love and Peace through understanding one another, and build a universal brotherhood of Humanity.